a new website helps you practice getting into berghain

And true to life, it’s very, very hard.

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Jun 2 2016, 8:13pm

If you thought there couldn't be a better use for face recognition technology than Face Swap Live, you thought wrong. Because the website Berghaintrainer now exists.

This handy online simulator uses a webcam to analyze your body language and speech as you try to meet the notoriously mysterious entry criteria for Berghain, Germany's — and maybe the world's — most infamous nightclub, a techno mecca hidden within a cavernous East Berlin power plant.

Once the camera has mapped your face and voice, and evaluated your emotional state (little meters on the screen measure your "anger," "sadness," and "euphoria"), a very realistic video shows your approach to the club. You see your hand cautiously putting down a bottle as you get close. Then, finally, you come face-to-face with the club's legendarily selective doorman. (Not shown: Berghain's real-life doorman, Sven, who most likely declined to be involved, and who, fun fact, once created a clothing collection with Hugo Boss.)

The fate of your Saturday night/Sunday morning depends on your answers to three questions: "Have you been here before?", "Are you drunk?", and "Do you know who's spinning tonight?".

What are the correct responses? As it is in real life, it's impossible to tell. But Sven once told an interviewer that he looks for people "who come purely to enjoy the music and celebrate." So try getting that euphoria level up.

Credits


Text Alice Newell-Hanson
Photography Thomas Angermann via Flickr