​20 ways to turn your life into a harmony korine movie

He’s the outsider auteur, loved and hated in equal measure, responsible for some of cinema’s most shocking moments as well as some of its best.

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Jan 15 2016, 3:55pm

1. Be a teen weirdo. Pretty much the easiest way to be in a Harmony Korine film is to be an alienated teen outsider.

2. And be a skater. If you're not a teen weirdo you almost definitely have to be a skater.

3. Though you might actually be a celebrity impersonator. Pretending to be Michael Jackson and scraping a living on the streets of Paris.

4. Just as long as you had a dysfunctional childhood. The kind that makes you dress up as a bunny rabbit.

5. Wherever you travel make sure you have a dopesmoking soundtrack (or at least a weird one).

6. In fact everything needs a really good soundtrack. There's no point doing anything if it doesn't have a great soundtrack. Whether it's Roy Orbison or Britney Spears.

7. Be bored and nihilistic. Just don't take those weird drugs in that club, even if Harmony insists.

8. Or just be Chloe Sevigny.

9. Make sure someone's always shooting you on a worn VHS home video. Otherwise, what's the point?

10. And make sure your appearances on talk shows are as weird and funny as your films.

11. Take off your top. Shave off your eyebrows. Listen to Buddy Holly. Embrace your sexuality.

12. Talk about sex because "there's a difference between making love, having sex, and fucking"

13. Be a man. And get German filmmaker Werner Herzog to shower you down in the garden.

14. Eat spaghetti in the bath. Because why not?

15. Make sure you listen to taxi drivers. Because they have the best advice.

16. Don't listen to Telly. Even if he says he loves you. And especially if you're underage.

17. Actually don't listen to anyone if they say they like you.

18. I'm starting to think this is the most spiritual place I've ever been. Spring break forever, bitches.

19. Life is great. Without it, you'd be dead. Obviously.

20. Jesus Christ, what happened?

Credits


Text Felix Petty