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kid cudi writes heartfelt essay about his depression

'Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges. I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me,' Cudi revealed on Facebook last night.

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Oct 5 2016, 4:21pm

@kidcudi

A number of high-profile pop stars have recently and bravely spoken up about mental health, including Justin Bieber, Banks, Zayn Malik, and Selena Gomez. But while depression is notorious for not discriminating, it has historically been a lot more stigmatized in rap circles. None of this is lost on Kid Cudi, who last night wrote a heartfelt essay to his fans revealing that he has checked into rehab for "depression and suicidal urges," and addressing the crippling sense of shame that too frequently comes with being honest. "Its been difficult for me to find the words to what Im about to share with you because I feel ashamed," he wrote on Facebook. "Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans."

The "Pursuit of Happiness" mastermind goes on to say that he has struggled with depression for as long as he can remember. "I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me," he continues. "If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it." Cudi hopes to be out of rehab in time to perform at Complexcon in a month's time, and assures fans his upcoming album is still on its way.

The revelation comes shortly after a very public beef between the rapper and his longtime collaborator Kanye West, who have previously come together on tracks including like "Welcome to Heartbreak," "Erase Me," and "Father Stretch my hands Pt.1" from West's The Life of Pablo. "Everyone thinks they're soooo great. Talkin top 5 and be having 30 people write songs for them," Cudi tweeted on September 14, addressing the "haters" and "clowns" in the industry. "Ye, Drake, whoever. These niggas dont give a fuck about me. And they aint fuckin with me," he continued. West then threw some harsh words of his own at his former protégé during a show in Florida before later saying he "just wanted to take time out to say Kid Cudi is my brother," calling him as "the most influential artist of the past 10 years" and saying, "I hope he's doing well." Judging by the supportive comments, he's not alone in that sentiment.

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Text Hannah Ongley
Image via Instagram

Tagged:
mental health
depression
Kid Cudi