fyre festival isn't quite the extravagant escape people hoped for

Attendees forked out up to $12,000 for Kraft Singles and stolen luggage.

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Apr 28 2017, 9:41pm

Ja Rule's exclusive two-weekend music getaway promised festival-goers a "luxury experience" on a private island in the Bahamas once owned by drug lord Pablo Escobar. Perks included private planes, fancy tents, gourmet island cuisine, Kanye West's G.O.O.D. music headliners, and Emily Ratajkowski's sand-dusted butt. Instead, people forked out up to $12,000 for a package deal of processed cheese, what look like disaster relief tents, stolen luggage, and luxury school bus transportation. Things started going downhill as soon as Thursday morning, with some flights from Miami axed before the festival even officially kicked off.

People on those grounded flights are now being considered lucky. Fyre's subreddit is awash with dystopian horror stories comparing the festival to The Hunger Games, Lost, and Lord of the Flies. There isn't even beer or music — Blink 182 canceled long before soundcheck, along with the slew of "influencers" paid to share promo duties with Ratajkowski, Kendall Jenner, and Bella Hadid. Many of the Instababes' earlier social posts are also mysteriously missing.

Fyre is currently evacuating the island after the festival went viral a little faster than anticipated. (One photo of the bleak "catering" — two untoasted bread slices and a duo of Kraft Singles — has received over 3K likes on Twitter.) "Fyre Festival set out to provide a once-in-a-lifetime musical experience on the Islands of the Exumas," organizers said in a statement. "Due to circumstances out of our control, the physical infrastructure was not in place on time and we are unable to fulfill on that vision safely and enjoyably for our guests." The U.S. Embassy in the Bahamas has now joined the effort to get attendees home safely. A "heartbroken" Ja Rule, meanwhile, is attempting to convince Twitter than the failure is "NOT MY FAULT."

In all seriousness, it actually looks pretty damn dangerous out there with limited food, water, and electricity. And not everyone who shelled out for a ticket falls into the Instagram influencer or trust fund kid category. One shockingly optimistic attendee reports encountering kids who had literally bankrupted themselves for bottom-tier GA tickets (approx $1,500). "All of the people here who are younger, myself included, really busted their asses and scraped the barrel to pay to be here," tweeted @DylanACOP this morning. Unfortunate, but it at least all serves as an important reminder: never believe what you see on Instagram.

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Text Hannah Ongley
Image via YouTube

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