the itchy scratchy patchy guide to motocross
You mean you haven’t ironed-on these patches all over everything you own already?
To celebrate the launch of their spanking new Itchy Scratchy Patchy collection, dastardly duo Edie Campbell and Christabel MacGreevy travelled all the way to Slough MotoX Parc (chic spelling), to shoot their old intern Edie Ashley and her boyfriend Joel Kerr tearing up the dirt track. Teaming up with south London-based design house Studio Calm & Collected, the new collection is based around the arbitrary way we consume images today, an indiscriminate, heavily-filtered mix of high and low visual culture.
Think brightly coloured patches that fuse segments of the Sistine Chapel ceiling with instant noodle packaging, Bernini's St Theresa and Japanese sweet wrappers -- all of which have been ironed lovingly onto reclaimed jeans, jackets, tees, sheer mesh tops, socks, sweatshirts, and some particularly fetching boiler suits.
After a day's work* at the tracks here's seven seriously random and probably quite useless things they learnt:
1. Motocross is shortened to 'Motox'. Mo' toxins mo' problems. But it's still pronounced Motocross.
2. Slough isn't that far from London. In fact, it basically is London.
3. Motocross outfits are really good. You wear BDSM body armour and goggles. And really sexy red and yellow outfits with really good graphics. So good we made our own Itchy Scratchy boiler suit version, in collaboration with Dickies.
4. It's really sweaty. You sweat from places you never knew you could sweat. Like your nipples. Personally, we would recommend keeping your areolas cool in an Itchy Scratchy mesh top.
5. Following on from sweaty nipples, you're gonna have to roll (see what I did there?) with the helmet hair. Sadly there's no Charlie's Angels blow dry situ when you whip your helmet off.
6. BUT it's still really sexy. If you're good at it. If you're bad at it it's quite a turn-off. A bit like skiing. Nothing kills our lady-boners like a grown man doing snow-plough, and it's the same for motocross. Like lovemaking itself, we advise practice in secret until you're ready to unveil yourself.
7. The last thing we learnt is that young love still melts our stony hearts. Edie and Joel are really in love. You can see that in the film. Again, not very useful in terms of motocross, but nice for them at least.
Get your paws on your very own ISP garms at DSM London and itchyscratchyoatchy.com now.
Text Tish Weinstock
Photography Camille Summers-Valli