david attenborough has announced when he’s going to retire

Unfortunately, the answer is not "never."

by Georgie Wright
08 January 2018, 12:45pm

Image via Wikimedia Commons

David Attenborough, patron saint of the Earth and the aural equivalent to a bowl of chicken noodle soup, has revealed when he’s going to retire. Unfortunately, the answer is not 'never'.

In an interview with Radio Times about his most recent and enticingly named documentary, Attenborough and the Sea Dragon, David says, “If I thought I was turning in substandard work, that would stop me.” He continues, “I would like to think I would be able to detect when I couldn’t find the right words any more.” Reader, we also plan on retiring when we can no longer find any words.

The beloved narrator also gave us a few hints in the romance department. Take note for V Day: “Romance is emotion and feeling, not cold scientific fact and calculation. Becoming the first human being ever to lay eyes on an ammonite in the moment that it is uncovered after 200 million years -- wallop! That’s very romantic.”

Chuck away the champagne truffles and your heart shaped nipple tassels, folks. Ancient fossilised molluscs are where it’s at.

David Attenborough
Planet Earth
attenborough and the sea dragon