Help, I’m obsessed with… Netflix’s Bridgerton
The clueless debutantes have refreshingly little to worry about, aside from finding out how babies are made.
Netflix’s new Shonda Rhimes period epic Bridgerton seems tailor-made for pandemic viewing. Straining corsets, moonlit dalliances and epic amounts of (male) nudity fulfil the horny brief we now expect from our TV viewing, while the towering wigs and fake French accents serve a dose of the ridiculous. Also refreshing is just how… dumb the characters are. Divorced from the current events of even their own time, they totter around their vast palaces talking about little other than the proto-tabloid rag written by Mrs Whistledown. Lady Whistledown, brought to life by the velvety voice of Julie Andrews, is the omniscient narrator, hiding behind every hedge and sideboard waiting for impropriety to occur, whether that be an illicit kiss (very taboo) or impregnation (so verboten they can’t say the word).
Speaking of impregnation -- the whole of the Bridgerton family seem entirely clueless as to how it works, to say nothing of their hideously garbed neighbours, the Featheringtons. These people literally have nothing to do aside from sit around and gossip, and yet they haven’t got round to gossiping about… sex. Of course, you’re not supposed to do it before marriage, but you would have thought they could at least talk about it, or fill in poor Daphne on what “wedding night bliss” actually entails before launching her into the marriage market. But no, poor Daph remains ignorant, resulting in memes like the below by the genius D.J. Mausner.
Despite this, I still finished the whole stupid series in one weekend, and now the soundtrack to my life is instrumental Ariana Grande and the clacking of Lady Danbury’s cane. From her permanently arched eyebrows, Danbury seems to know what fornicating might be, but the Lady is also the oldest member of the cast. Until season two hopefully arrives, I will have to be content with rewatching Daphne and Duke Hastings looking both devastated and confused, while I remain also devastated and confused at home, allowed out for one hour a day with a chaperone. Maybe we have more in common that I thought.