Britney Spears should lead the socialist revolution

Call her by her name: Britney Sanders!!!

by Douglas Greenwood
25 March 2020, 11:32am

The world around us has ground to a halt as coronavirus continues to spread: musicians are delaying their long-awaited records, all shops, except grocery stores and pharmacists, have shut their doors for the foreseeable, the movie box office is non-existent and the Labour and Democratic leadership races -- remember those? -- feels like they’re on pause, despite the voting deadline fast approaching.

It’s on pause for a reason -- so that a Transatlantic candidate can throw her hat in the ring: Miss Britney Jean Spears. Yup, in the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak, the legendary pop singer has transformed her social media platforms from an innocent space for her painting and dancing sessions into a selfless, altruistic place for those struggling to get by as the economy pretty much pauses for the foreseeable future.

It started on Sunday, when Britney uploaded a short video to her Instagram of her taking part in the #DoYourPartChallenge, in which she encouraged those in need of money for food or nappies to slide into her DMs. The work of an angel making a real difference in the world -- not some slight show of solidarity from the Hollywood elite, cooped up in their mansions singing songs or posting, quite frankly, deranged graphic designs.

But she wasn’t done there! Not even slightly. Yesterday, Britney returned to Instagram reposting a graphic in which she demanded we “redistribute wealth” and “strike”. In a time when the rich and the royals seem to be getting tested over frontline workers, her calls for the fight for equality carry huge amounts of weight. “Britney Spears said 'GENERAL STRIKE!' queen of proletariat," @isa.acw said. “Queen of communion and communism,” @xfelipel added.

This situation is getting progressively more uncertain, with mixed messages and downright falsehoods all over your timeline. Who would have thought that an elusive, pure as gold pop star would be the one to say the words those cowards don’t have the balls to? You might say she’s been plotting her quest for socialism before coronavirus was declared a pandemic. We see those red roses, queen!

Britney Spears could successfully advocate for universal basic income but Lisa Nandy couldn’t do the Work Bitch choreography, so we know who we’re voting for. And that’s on period.

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