a list of all the times rihanna saved 2017
As Fenty Beauty is announced as one of the 25 best inventions of 2017 by TIME, we pick an arbitrary number of amazing things Rihanna has done this year.
Save your end of year lists. Rihanna wins everything. This isn’t the year of Stranger Things 2, or the year of fidget spinners. Greggs replacing Baby Jesus with a sausage roll and unnecessarily apologising for it was a contender, sure, but the ray of light that shines brightest through the darkness cast by the year of horrors, is the one emanating from Rihanna’s heart and diamante encrusted knee-high boots. Without her, we would have fallen into a deep dark abyss, never to return. She is our safety ladder and our life raft, our saviour and our Oprah. She literally won Humanitarian of the Year.
So, to celebrate her as we should, here’s some of the times Rihanna saved the shitshow that was (/is) 2017.
Her makeup line actually deserves all the acclaim
Rihanna’s much anticipated Fenty Beauty line just made TIME’s list of 25 best inventions of 2017, and quite frankly leaves the rest of the entries in its multihued mineral dust -- ‘the rest’ including some newfangled low-cal ice cream (literally what’s the point) and the iPhone X (it is made entirely of glass, you absolute trolls).
Fenty is the beauty line the world needed. While L’Oreal was busy firing their first trans model for speaking out about white privilege, and Kim was copping flak for veering into the realm of blackface, RiRi was out there making a diverse line for all skin type, and tones. The range was so wildly popular that beauty brands were triggered into a frantic game of catch up, releasing their own more diverse offerings in the weeks immediately following the Fenty drop. And while normally it’s a bit lame to see people lazily piggyback on others’ success, in this case it couldn’t be more welcome -- it’s about time the notoriously white-orientated beauty industry caught on to the fact that there are people with other skin colours and hey, they want makeup too thanks v much.
She took a hip flask to the Grammys
“If you fail to prepare, be prepared to fail.”
When life gives you Lemon, make Rihanna’s rap into a 10-hour loop
N.E.R.D’s surprise return was a win. The beats were slick, the video was hot, watching everyone attempt the dance move that looks like you’re watering a supersized Christmas wreath was thoroughly entertaining. But we can all agree that the song should start and finish at Rihanna’s rap verse, Rihanna’s rap verse is the only thing that matters -- why is Rihanna not rapping for the song’s entirety? Note to all ex-band’s contemplating a comeback: maybe just don’t, unless you can get your hands on a Rihanna bar.
The above, offered without comment
It’s ugly until Rihanna decides it’s not
Can’t say I’ve given too much thought to my wedding, but this much I know: I will be wearing a blue Molly Goddard dress accessorised with sunnies and sneakers, walking down the aisle to the sound of Consideration.
In a nutshell, if Rihanna wears something, it instantly becomes the most desirable item of clothing you can dream of never owning. And while this has always been the case, 2017 has seen her parade an unparalleled number of perfect outfits in rapid succession. The Off-White, the Prada, the Raf, the Giambattista Valli, the Balenciaga. Her Met Gala Comme dress, her carnival outfit, her singing along to Wild Thoughts in her carnival outfit.
It’s ugly until Rihanna decides it’s not 2.0
See: sneaker creepers (sneapers?)
It’s ugly until Rihanna decides it’s not 3.0
See: fluffy slides (flides?)
Wild Thoughts is the aural equivalent of an orgasm
It’s a slice of lime in an ice cold Corona, it’s a sangria-drenched slow dance in the Spanish desert at dusk, it’s sex on a platter in a song. It singlehandedly awakened my cold dead heart and reminded me that lust is real and it sounds fucking great.
Her enduring friendship with Drake continues
The ultimate platonic power couple. We hope?
All hail the meme queen
Rihanna loves a meme. Loves a meme. Really, really just loves a meme. Personal favourite: when people were hitting her up about her curves (idk, people are nuts), she complemented some excellent words on dressing for her fluctuating body weight with the above pure, perfect meme.
She is a truly good human
Despite what the internet may have lead you to believe, life is not all about looking hot and memes. Style and substance are not mutually exclusive and being a good person is imperative. Rihanna is a good person. 2017 has seen her forge ahead with numerous charitable efforts: in February, she won the 2017 Harvard University Humanitarian of the Year award for her work supporting education and healthcare with the Clara Lionel Foundation, a partnership which this year saw her help to provide bikes to young girls in Malawi to help them get to school. In September, she recruited Dave Chappelle as auctioneer for her third Diamond Ball, a charity evening that raised $840,000 USD for the Foundation. She also clearly knows the way to the wallets of the rich and famous: “The more you drink, the more inspired you’ll be to donate money… and help kids around the world.” Pour it up pour it up.
She told Diplo his music sounds like a reggae song in an airport