10 ways to spice up your life
Go girl power mad with us and celebrate all the ways the Spice Girls have shaped our lives.
Ask a crop of kids from a certain generation where their first notion of feminism came from, and more often than not they'll point to the Spice Girls and their ubiquitous Girl Power. Sure, the group was conceived by a powerful white man with a hand no doubt planted firmly on his wallet, and there might have been some slightly reductive stereotyping going on, but as F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "the test of a first rate mind is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." No need to take down your childhood Spice shrine just yet. So with that in (a first-rate) mind, it's time to polish off your platforms and read on for 10 ways to Spice Up Your Life.
1. Alas, not everyone is as on board the Spice Girls' Union Jack double-decker as you are. Thankfully, the eternally cool MØ has released the perfect way for you to throw some Spice over all your salty friends.
2. Gift yourself something beautiful from the Victoria Beckham line. It's practically official merchandise, right? And by line, we mean bloodline of course. Oh hai Brooklyn.
3. Spend your nights/lunch breaks/life honing your vocals for your next karaoke concert. Obviously the performance will improve exponentially if you're flanked by four of your closest gal pals. Note: as all good girl bands do, anticipate any potential indecisiveness and/or public meltdowns by agreeing on your tune in advance. A handy guide, if you please:
Stop - a classic. You want a good time, you want a laugh, but you're not here to win. (Wait... why are you here again?)
Viva Forever - bring the tissues. Not your usual karaoke fodder, this is when you want to bring the house down in a soggy swamp of tears. Reserved for: leaving; friends leaving; break ups (of the Girl Band variety).
2 Become 1 - no. Save it for the bedroom.
Too Much - an underrated sultry gem. Nail Sporty's part, nail life.
Wannabe - now this, this is the big leagues. The platform boots of the music world. The sequined Union Jack dress of the Spice-drobe. Few things in life are more cathartic than busting out the climactic rap section - go hard or go home.
4. To cure the come down from a night of hard karaoke-ing, rally the troops for well-earned viewing of the Spice World film. (Bonus points for the original VCR version). You can even relive the emotional rollercoaster of heatedly debating which Spice Girl you are. Just remember folks: I. Am. Baby.
5. Alternatively, make like Dolce & Gabbana's fall/winter 15 show and throw Mama on the playlist next time she's making you dinner/shouting you lunch/doing your laundry. Show her you care.
6. Justify any tears shed over the Spice Girls by watching comedy queen/lip-syncing boss/fellow-Spice-obsessive Emma Stone fangirl just as hard as you. Celebrities - they're just like us.
7. Unleash all your inner (and outer) Girl Power. Yes, there's debate about marketing intentions behind the phrase's coinage - but anything that has the word Girl and Power in the same sentence can't be wholy bad. Free your nipples, your armpits, and your mind to the wonder of womanly ways.
8. Wile away the hours by fantasizing about potential Spice Girls 2.0 bands. Serious contenders:
9. Take a deep breath - because rumor has it the Spice Girls will reunite next year. And remember, it's not enough to just Say You'll Be There - time to get on to those Google Alerts. Until then, satisfy your daydreams by throwing this little teaser on repeat...
10. And finally, vicariously live your ultimate Spice life through i-D's Obsessed: Sixth Spice Girl documentary. Silently mourn the fact that your own obsession has been surpassed (sorry, your collection of original CDs doesn't cut it anymore). But you won't dwell in misery. Because as far you're concerned, Guinness World Record or not, you'll always be the true Sixth Spice Girl.
Photography Ellen von Unwerth
Fashion Director Edward Enninful
[The Secret Issue, No. 239, January 2004]