i-D's alternative and very funny guide to menswear fashion week
You’ve seen the shows, read the coverage, and delivered your own hot takes on social media, but now it’s time to really get to grips with this season’s menswear shows through a series of highly covetable awards dished out arbitrarily to our favourite...
The Philipp Plein Award For More Is More is More, Dear God Give Me More I Literally Can Not Get Enough: Philipp Plein
Philipp Plein went full Philipp Plein this season, in the way only Philipp Plein can. Monster trucks, pop stars, bumper cars, a Ferrari, references to the musical Grease, motorcycles, cars doing stunts. There was even some clothing! Don't ever change PP.
The DIY Fashion Trousers Award: Charles Jeffrey
If you are in a particularly fancy restaurant -- the kind where they insist on you wearing trousers if you want to be served -- and you realise you are accidentally wearing just a pair of lacy briefs, and no trousers, well just take a leaf out of Charles Jeffrey's book, and draw your trousers on! It's called fashion, Brenda, look it up.
The Harry Kane Award For Services To Tottenham: Martine Rose
Martine is one of the best things about London fashion at the moment, her beautiful and forward thinking design propositions dragged the rabid fash pack all the way back to Tottenham this season, continuing her salute to the residents of north London. Last season she paid homage to Seven Sisters Indoor Market, this season a community climbing centre. It's fashion! And it's outside of Zone 1! She is as vital a part of the local economy as Tottenham's other local hero, Harry Kane, A man whose football is as beautiful as Martine's clothes.
The Haircut Of The Season Award For Best Haircut This Season: Walter Van Beirendonck
Around the age of 17 I got heavily into glam rock after listening to Ziggy Stardust for the first time. I was 17 at a time before you could easily find style advice and inspiration on the internet. I didn't even have a smartphone, you know, it was very tough. So I went to the shop and bought a book about glam rock. Unfortunately, it didn't have any pictures in it. I think I got the gist of it though.
The Award For Striding Into The Future: Prada
Short shorts were the story of the season. Legs everywhere. Skinny little model boy legs. Long loping skinny model boy legs. Hairy legs. Hairless legs. Legs legs legs. Show off your legs in very short shorts. Shorts! Legs! Prada set the tone in Milan with a collection of short shorts and jumpsuits, and where Miuccia leads, the rest follow. If their legs can keep up, that is.
The Stylist Of The Season Award: Max Clark
Another year, another Stylist Of The Season Award for i-D's Fashion Editor Max Clark, who lent his inimitable craft and undeniable talent to the Christopher Shannon show this season. A man of incomparable genius, and he is all ours.
The Danniella Westbrook Award For Services To Burberry: Gosha Rubchinskiy
It's commonly believed that Gosha Rubchinskiy finds his influences in Post-Soviet Russian youth of Moscow and St Petersburg. It is less well known that he also finds inspiration in Eastenders actress Danniella Westbrook. In 2002, Daniella was papped out and about in a Burbz coat, with a Burbz handbag, clutching a child in a Burbz skirt, while pushing a Burbz pram. Gosha revisited the iconic fashion statement this season, in tribute to the one and only Sam Mitchell.
The Demna Gvasalia Award For Services To Big Practical Bags: OFF WHITE c/o VIRGIL ABLOH
Following all the column inches given to the sublimely prosaic OTT nature of Demna's Balenciaga range of very expensive normcore bags, OFF WHITE c/o VIRGIL ABLOH -- to give the brand its full name -- went and did their own version. It was big, orange, plastic, practical. A comment on the collapsing political structures that govern our world? Yes, you need this big, orange, plastic and practical bag to carry around all your worldly possessions once the global economy collapses. It may well be cheaper than Demna's bank busting Ikea tribute, which will come in handy when the economy breaks down into a system of bartering, cajoling and random acts of violence.
The Naomi Campbell Award For Styling Out A Catwalk Calamity: Vivienne Westwood
Remember when Naomi absolutely stacked it on a Viv runway back in the 90s and styled it out because she is incredible, indestructible and a total miracle? Well, a model did the same this season on Viv's catwalk, and recovered beautifully, too. Lighting strikes twice.
The 'Become A Model They Said, It'll Be Glamourous' Award for Persevering At Being A Model Even When It Doesn't Appear To Be Very Glamorous: Art School
Once, at the height of Ozzy Osbourne's alcohol abuse problem, Sharon stole all of his clothes so he wouldn't be able to nip down the offy and buy a couple of lovely, cold cans of lager. Not that this stopped the boozed brummy bat nibbler. Ever resourceful, Ozzy donned one of Sharon's dresses and popped down the shops for a nice refreshing brew.
The Primary School Craft Award For Best Use of Spaghetti: Rottingdean Bazaar.
Have you ever been to Rottingdean? It's very quiet. There's not a lot to do. You have to make your own fun in Rottingdean. It's so snoozy down in Rottingdean, you'll end up spending long summer days indoors glueing spaghetti all over the body of one of your mates when he's having an afternoon nap on the sofa.
The Dog Ate My Homework Award For Worst Excuse: Dolce and Gabbana
The Italian designers found themselves embroiled in more (more!) controversy this season, this time for their support of the Trump family and First Lady Melania. Raury, who was modelling in the show even protested it, writing Boycott D&G on his bare chest. The ever enterprising brothers released a line of "Boycott D&G" T-shirts to cash in on the outrage. "We are Italian and we don't care about politics and mostly neither about the American one!" They said via Instagram. Glad that's sorted then.
The Fashion T-Shirt Selfie Of The Season Award: J.W.Anderson
Have you ever taken a selfie so good, so perfect, so beautiful, that you thought 'Maybe I will get this printed on a T-shirt and wear it?' Jonathan Anderson has, and I can't wait to wear it.
The Dad Of The Year Award: Balenciaga
Dad's are often unfairly maligned. Idiotic, bumbling, buffoons, who can't even remember anniversaries, or birthdays, where they parked the Ford Mondeo, or even which son you are. They try and they fail to do DIY. They are always trying to make you listen to and appreciate Bob Dylan. They are embarrassing, with their weird dad fashions. Oh FFS Dad, I explicitly said can you not wear those sunglasses your Georgian mate Demna gave you when you come to pick me up from football practice, they are not cool, the other kids are laughing me.
The Bob Marley Award For Getting High: Rick Owens
The puns just write themselves don't they. Elevated basics. High fashion. On the hautest day of the year, Rick's set saw the models walking above the courtyard of the Palais De Tokyo. It was a beautiful show, full of beautiful clothes, and it was a red letter day for headline writers searching for lazy jokes.
The No Show Award For Best Show Photographed In Switzerland: Vetements
I was in Switzerland recently, on my way back to London, and I bumped into Demna Gvasalia, who'd just moved his brand, Vetements, from Paris to Zurich. I was curious about what had motivated him to up sticks from the beauty, glamour and croissants of Paris, to the safety, banks and good quality of living of Zurich. "Demna," I asked, "what's so great about Switzerland? Is it the low levels of tax?" No, he said, it wasn't the low levels of tax. "Is it the incredible quality of living?" No, he said, it wasn't that either. "Is it the beautiful and unique people of the city who are willing to dress up in your clothes and model your latest, incredible collection?" He shook his head. It wasn't that either. So, "Demna," I asked, "what is the best thing about living in Switzerland?" "Well," he said. "The flag is a big plus."
The Get You A Guy Who Can Do Both Award For Gender Neutral Dressing: Thom Browne
Business in the front, bridal at the back, was the theme for Thom Browne this year. On the last day of menswear shows, Thom reminded us, that, hey, suits are more exciting if in fact, the back of the suit is a wedding dress.
The Craig Green Award For Best Quilted and Belted Jacket: Emporio Armani
As they say, talent borrows, genius steals.
The Practical Fashion For Practical People Award: Craig Green
Ah, the actual Craig Green stuff now; beautiful, obtuse, fantastical, romantic, dreamy… That's our Craig. This season's stand out piece, well, it's undoubtedly a difficult look to pull off, but if you can work it, you should work it. Let's see someone try and copy this!
Text Felix Petty
Photography Mitchell Sams