5 of the best things to come out of the election
The force has awoken.
Good day folks! No, actually, really, THIS IS GOOD DAY FOLKS THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS WORLD AND WE MIGHT NOT IMPLODE IN A CLOUD OF WHEAT AND CHEETO DUST JUST YET!
Of course, it's still complicated. We now have a hung parliament, Theresa Not Very Strong And Stable May hasn't stepped down, instead she's struck a deal with Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionist Party (who have some kinda scary views on climate change, evolution, abortion and same sex marriage) to form a government, and tbh no one really knows what's actually going to happen and how it's going to work and what the new government is going to look like and there are still just so many questions.
But guys, guys, let's be positive! Let's be proud! There are lots of good things! Lots of great things to come out of this election! Lots of positive political outcomes and lots of literally lolable memes! Here are a few.
V Good Youth Engagement
'Millennials are lazy, millennials are apathetic, millennials only care about instagramming their hashtag avo toast and curating a tumblr of contoured duckface selfies' said a bunch of old white dudes. 'Fuck you' is what millennials said. Vote is what millennials did. The figure that 72% of 18-24 year olds voted is being circulated, and while this hasn't actually been 100% confirmed, it's undeniable that youth engagement has been pretty bloody high.
The Tory landslide that was predicted at the start of the campaign didn't seem to count for the young people who wanted to come out and support a government that would support them. A government maybe cares about youth? Who doesn't want to cut housing benefits for 18-21 year olds? Who does want to abolish tuition fees? Who gives a shit? Overall: It makes us feel excited and optimistic about the future. And you should too.
Dogs at Polling Stations
The only thing better than more people at polling stations is more people bringing their dogs to polling stations, obvs. Some people even tried to make rats at polling stations a thing, which is frankly quite disturbing and I really do not understand why you would actively choose to bring a rat into a polling booth when you could bring this:
But hey, whatever gets you there I guess.
UKIP: new govt, who dis?
UKIP, that party who were pretty much invented to try and get the UK out of the EU are now finally discovering how lonely it is to be on the outside. Because they did not win a single seat, literally not one, they do not even have a corner of a seat to awkwardly try and perch one butt cheek while gritting their teeth in a terrifyingly fake grin pretending that everything's totally ok for them IT'S SO FINE I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE PINS AND NEEDLES PARALYSING THE FOOT I'VE SHOT MYSELF IN. Because it's not fine (for them), because they are out, and their party leader Paul Nuttall stepped down, and good bloody riddance. Or as we say here on the internet:
Theresa May eating her strong and stable words
Obviously Theresa May called this snap election thinking that she was going to win by a strong and stable landslide and she could go about forging a strong and stable government to do lots of strong and stable things, because no one calls something they think they're going to lose unless they're David Cameron calling a referendum on Brexit. But after that palava, and the Trump disaster, it's nice to know that major upsets can sometimes happen in our favour too. And that it's time the Tories wiped their smug ol' smirks off their faces and stop frolicking through fields of wheat like the entitled naughty schoolchildren they are.
Remember that? That weird thing that I think one calls a 'feeling', that thing that kind of warms that otherwise dark and hardened patch in the middle of your chest, that makes you bop a little bit on your walk to work so your ponytail swings back and forth just so, that sensation makes you do outlandish and crazy things like actually smiling at people on the tube! Striking up a conversation in the loo queue! Doing all the crusty dishes that have built up in the flat sink!
Oh, it's good to see you old friend.
I've missed you.
Text Georgie Wright