a list of ideas better than virgin trains' millennial avocado stunt

Virgin Trains has introduced its very own millennial railcard, the #avocard, and reaction has been, shall we say, mixed.

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Mar 14 2018, 2:40pm

In this week’s “it was a bright idea at the time”, Virgin Trains has introduced its very own temporary railcard, the #avocard. Created in response to overwhelming demand for the trial release of the new 26-30 “Millennial” railcard (which proved to be so popular the website crashed), it allows users to get a third off fares by presenting -- wait for it -- an avocado in place of the railcard at any Virgin Trains West Coast station. Mega!

Not mega. So far, reaction to the stunt has been, shall we say, mixed. With that in mind, we thought we’d do the right thing and make Virgin a comprehensive list of every single idea better than the #avocard. And here they are (#yourewelcome).

  1. More Mini Cheddars in the on-board shop.
  2. Cheaper Mini Cheddars in the on-board shop.
  3. Not playing into patronising narratives of millennials in a hamfisted attempt to mask corporate greed.
  4. Not forcing actual human beings to degrade themselves by asking for affordable rail travel while clutching a fruit deemed amusing by a company owned by a multi-billion pound venture capital conglomerate.
  5. Not mocking young people for their supposedly lavish food choices when you literally live on a luxury island in the Caribbean.
  6. A nationalised rail service.
  7. Free wifi.
  8. Working wifi.
  9. Not suing the NHS.
  10. Like, genuinely, why would you sue the NHS.
  11. A nationalised rail service.
  12. A nationalised rail service.
  13. A nationalised rail service.
  14. A nationalised rail service.
  15. Nationalised Mini Cheddars.