top dawg's leaked studio rules vs. your office rules

If you steal Schoolboy Q's weed, you will end up in detention.

by Georgie Wright
|
08 June 2017, 1:35pm

Top Dawg Entertainment -- you know, that lil ol' record label that has those lil ol' artists like Kendrick Lamar and ScHoolboy Q, yeah? Well they have a studio. And that studio has some rules. And those rules have leaked. And they are possibly very different to your workplace rules. Let's take a look, shall we?

In their workplace: "If you ain't one of the homies don't be Instagramming you creepy muthafucka. I don't wanna look on yo twitter and find a creepy ass pic of me or one of the homies, matter of fact, No Twitter or Instagram in the studio! Act like you been around a bunch of rich niggaz from the bottom before!"
In yours: Stay off your bloody cellphone in the meeting, Judith!

In their workplace: "If the homies just met you and decide to clown yo bitch azz, sit there and deal with it. It's part of the creative juices."
In yours: We will be a tiny bit judge-y about the new girl in sales' shoes. That's just how it is.

In their workplace: "Don't touch, ask, or reach for Q's weed, unless he thinks you cool enuff to pass it to you. We only smoke stersonals around here boy."
In yours: We will share a cigarette with you, if you are a known smoker or are having a severe emotional situation where a quick calming toot is needed.

In their workplace: "Shut up and look ugly for the homies."
In yours: I think this means something about not looking gross?!

In their workplace: "Remember these rules and you might get a meal out the food budget!"
In yours: If you're nice enough and fun enough and don't pester the office manager about the 'broken' printer when you clearly just haven't read the screen instructing you to close the goddamn side door, we may just pop more than a fiver in the office whip around on your birthday.

Credits


Text Georgie Wright

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