timothée chalamet and fiji water girl were the undisputed king and queen of the 2019 golden globes
Arise, to the only monarchy I will ever recognise.
Getting hard to stand out on red carpets these days, isn’t it? Like, how do you upstage Ezra Miller in the world’s biggest puffer coat? Surpass the time Rihanna covered her nips in Swarovski crystals?
It’s tough out there. Standards are high and unforgiving. Thankfully, we have two stars willing to make the effort and last night they won the entire Golden Globes.
Forget the nominees, we’re here to discuss the red carpet efforts of Timothée Chalamet and Fiji Water Girl.
Why these two? we hear you ask. Well, firstly, Timothée, our Lord, Saviour and internet breaking cover star, went and rocked up in a killer black glittery harness. Layered over a classic black shirt, the bedazzled man-corset is custom Louis Vuitton, created by Virgil Abloh himself, and modelled well enough by Timothée to immediately harness the power of Twitter to demand he ruin all of our lives and wreck all of our walls.
If that wasn’t enough to send the internet into a frenzy, the Beautiful Boy actor brought his mum along to the proceedings, matching him in some Off-White garms of her own.
So, yes, well done to Timothée for narrowly edging out Valentino-clad Lady Gaga to become the best dressed celebrity of last night’s proceedings. But let’s be honest, even Timothée’s efforts were overshadowed by the true breakout star of the night -- Fiji Water Girl.
Serving both looks and Fiji Water, the recently tracked down newcomer managed to photobomb a whole host of celebrities on the red carpet while holding a tray of Fiji Water, one of the Golden Globes’ sponsors. After being spotted in a deluge of last night’s best dressed pics, Fiji Water Girl truly transcended the normal boundaries of celebrity. She went from ingenue to starlet, to breakout star to Best Supporting Actress to icon in her own right, all without saying a word, like some artesian water carrying version of the Mona Lisa. And because this is 2019, she already has her own memes and a parody Twitter account.
We stan an opportunistic queen.