Every Lady Gaga song, ranked

Sorry, Cheek to Cheek is not canon.

by Douglas Greenwood and Otamere Guobadia
|
02 March 2020, 7:00am

You didn’t ask for it, but here it is anyway.

Editor's note: In the formation of this list, we've accidentally omitted a few of Lady Gaga's greatest songs (no, not "The Lady is a Tramp". We meant that). For reference, "The Edge of Glory" is a god-tier Gaga number and should place fourth in this list, knocking everything below it down a peg, closely followed, elsewhere in the top 10, by "The Cure". "Black Jesus / Amen Fashion" from Born This Way would've cracked the top 20 alongside "Paper Gangsta". If you will, imagine this list unfolding with those songs making their appearances in the right place, and plz don't drag us. We were high off the fumes of "Stupid Love". Thanks!

68. Do What U Want (ft. R K*lly)
It happened, didn’t it?

67. Jewels N Drugs
“From across the pond, TI! They wouldn’t let him into the country, poor thing!”

66. Hey Girl (ft. Florence Welch)
Can you believe Gaga and Flo spent time together in a room and it didn’t completely implode due to the sheer vocal power?

65. MANiCURE
Casual misandry never sounded as iconic as when Gaga suggested we needed a “man cure”!

64. Look What I Found
These

63. Sinner’s Prayer
Were

62. Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)
All

61. Grigio Girls
Lady Gaga

60. Electric Chapel
Songs.

59. Bad Kids
Never forget this Born This Way cut that once featured a mysterious, missing rap verse. Lyrics? “I’ve got guns up under my thumbs” and “Rebel fashion junkie and I wanna serve my country”.

58. Dancin’ in Circles
A wank banger.

57. Bloody Mary
Not about tomato-based cocktails, but, he claims, Gaga’s “car and Mary Magdalene [who is] the ultimate rockstar’s girlfriend”. Go off, I guess!

56. Summerboy
On The Fame, Gaga made songs about boys for herself that were also catnip to teenage gays who were desperate for their first flirt with love. This was one of those songs.

55. Aura
Fun fact: Gaga allegedly leaked this song herself when fans were going mental, starved in the run up to ARTPOP.

54. Angel Down
Gaga’s sweet ode to anxiety and conflict in modern America.

53. Eh Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
She really did say “I’m Italian” in this video 11 years ago and hasn’t stopped since.

52. Americano
Absolute chaos. Brilliant chaos.

51. Come to Mama
Lady Gaga, four years on, summoning the monsters back for LG6.

50. Always Remember Us This Way
It was in the Oscar-nominated film, A Star Is Born!

49. Brown Eyes
Remember when Gaga brought the iconic Living Dress to The Jonathan Ross Show, and then sat down behind the piano to belt out this sad ballad?

48. Starstruck
Is there anything more distinctly 2009 than a song with 'Beats by Dre' product placement in its actual lyrics?

47. A-YO
The opening cry of “Heeere we go!” is very me getting the slightest whiff of an impending mental breakdown.

46. ARTPOP
Great_gowns_beautiful_gowns.gif

45. Joanne
Where do you think you’re going?

44. Money Honey
Elvis Presley’s “Money Honey” found dead in a ditch tbh.

43. Mary Jane Holland
Big “LaGanja Estranja doing stand-up” mood.

42. Teeth
Gaga said “Show me your teeth” and Rihanna listened.

41. I Like It Rough
Peak “Cherry cherry boom boom” Gaga. A sexy and sordid, sadomasochism bop.

40. Venus
Don't you know her ass is famous?

39. Speechless
Arguably the greatest thing that came from Lady Gaga sitting behind a piano on stage.

38. Disco Heaven
That’s gay rites, luv

37. So Happy I Could Die
Put 'Happy in the club with a bottle of red wine' on my tombstone.

36. The Fame
It could be argued that I’ve been “doing it for the fame” ever since I first heard this song.

35. Million Reasons
Donatella’s favourite, and therefore one of ours as well.

34. Perfect Illusion
I still wake in the middle of the night thinking about the iconic 1:50 key change.

33. Heavy Metal Lover
Me fancying the emo in high school.

32. Just Dance
A iconic bolt out of the gates, littered with hallmarks we'd soon come to recognise and love as quintessential Gaga.

31. John Wayne
It’s going head-to-head with “Stupid Love” as peak ‘Gaga tune with a jangly, chopped vocal sample chorus that makes no sense, but sounds iconic anyway’.

30. Hair
Scalped us all, didn’t it?

29. Diamond Heart
This Joanne cut gives us big ballsy Springsteen energy.

28. Beautiful Dirty Rich
Who would have thought that this song used to promote the short-lived ABC series Dirty Sexy Money would also help birth the greatest new pop star of the 2010s? Big ‘14-year-old me with my pocket money’ energy.

27. Boys Boys Boys
It was upon hearing this song, in January 2009, that the authors knew they were gay.

26. Applause
“Suddenly the kunst is me” -- me putting on jeans and a nice top for a night out.

25. Fashion!
She once sang this with RuPaul dressed as a hairy condom because that’s what we all did in 2014.

24. Swine
A cacophony of pig squeals and ear-splitting synths. We stan the audacity. Walked so “Stupid Love” could run.

23. You and I
Remember when Gaga invented the state of Nebraska with this song?

22. Stupid Love
Mom's back to show the girls how it should have been done.

21. Dope
A sad-bitch bop. Stanning through our tears.

20. LoveGame
Did anyone else add French to their CV after singing “dans the LoveGame?” A réinitialisation culturelle?

19. Gypsy
If we ignore its slightly problematic title, it's actually a gorgey song about love and rootlessness and being dead nomadic.

18. Shallow
Gaga’s cover of Charlotte Awbery’s timeless classic won her so many awards no one can count them!

17. Government Hooker
A Mugler co-signed masterpiece. FashionGa stays winning...

16. Marry the Night
Gay Marriage was invented the moment this highly camp video dropped.

15. Monster
A polished pop anthem that TikTok gave a second life. You amaze me.

14. Poker Face
Little known pop fact: this song is actually a cover of the groundbreaking original by Lea Michele and Idina Menzel, from a niche show you've probably never heard of called Glee. Gaga wants what they have!

13. Schiesse
I think about this child’s incredible choreography daily.

12. Hair Body Face
Gaga attempted to give the gays vacuous, formulaic, soulless pop pastiche for her turn as industry-controlled Ally Maine in A Star Is Born -- yet the gays have never stanned harder.

11. Sexxx Dreams
The @chaseicon director’s cut is, in our opinion, faultless.

10. Donatella
'I'm blonde, I'm skinny, I'm rich… and I'm a little bit of a bitch!'. Speaks for itself, really.

9. Dance in the Dark
The remixed Brits performance of this, which happened shortly after the death of Alexander McQueen, still gives us chills.

8. Why Did You Do That?
Aka Ass Jeans. Proof that pop irony still exceeds men breaking their backs to make ‘authentic’ music.

7. Judas
In which Gaga literally invents betraying Jesus.

6. Born This Way
God makes no mistakes? Gaga makes no mistakes.

5. Alejandro
ALE ALE ALEJANDRO ALE ALE ALEJANDROOOO.

4. Telephone (feat Beyoncé)
It was an unequivocal cultural reset and pop music still hasn’t recovered a decade later.

3. Bad Romance
She wrote and recorded this at the age of 23 -- causing everyone over the age of 23 to feel totally fucking incompetent and incapable of creating anything good in the world -- and then performed it on Gossip Girl. A classic.

2. G.U.Y.
“The power that that has, the intelligence that that has, the clearance that that has, the access that that has, the influence that that has, the profile that that has, the international implications that that has.”

1. Paparazzi
The homages to the toxicity of celebrity culture. Those triplets. The Jonas Åkerlund video. We can still hear the audience gasping at that VMAs performance. Safe to say we stan Gaga, now and forever more. Thanks queen x

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lady gaga