watch johnny depp and amber heard’s brilliantly weird dog-smuggling apology

'Johnny Depp and Amber Heard: Australian Biosecurity' is the most riveting courtroom drama since '12 Angry Men.'

by Hannah Ongley
18 April 2016, 3:33pm


One of the most fascinating court cases of our time just has culminated in a genre-muddling short film. It stars Johnny Depp and Amber Heard as celebrity dog-smugglers who are truly #sorrynotsorry for not declaring their Yorkshire terriers when Depp entered Australia to shoot Pirates of the Caribbean 5. It premiered to a crowded Australian courtroom on Monday and is now streaming for free on YouTube. 

"Australia is a wonderful island, with a treasure trove of unique plants, animals, and people," starts Heard, possibly under extreme duress but more likely reading from her own script. "Australia is free of many pests and diseases that are commonplace around the world. That is why Australia has to have such strong biosecurity laws."

Depp occasionally chimes in with weird observations about the land and its inhabitants, such as "Australians are just as unique, both warm and direct."

"Declare everything when you enter Australia," he signs off before nodding his head sarcastically, a classic apology-negating move. The court, however, has apparently accepted the whole thing as legit, slapping Heard with only a $1000 good-behavior bond. Which is unfortunate because we really hoping for a sequel. 


Text Hannah Ongley

johnny depp
amber heard