there is maybe going to be a dating app exclusively for kanye fans

We have some thoughts on other dating apps we’d prefer.

by Georgie Wright
16 March 2018, 4:14pm

Image via Instagram

There is maybe going to be a dating app for Kanye stans and only Kanye stans. The website bills itself as, “A Dating Site for fans of the genius Mr Kanye West.” Other details are scant, except that Taylor Swift fans are banned, obviously. The associated Instagram promises that the app will be ready in March, which is quite a bold call: flick over to the app’s Crowdfunder and you’ll see that only £45 of the £1,100 target has been reached. There are six days left. The project has three supporters. What a love triangle.

But who is behind this romance-orientated standom? Meet Harry: “Hi. I'm Harry Dry. 21 years old. Young Lad,” he says. “I've been building a dating site for Kanye West fans for the last month or so and I'm very close to finishing it I just need a little help with the final development + marketing! So any money pledged will be wisely invested into the product and building the community. ”

We also appear to get a sneak preview of the kind of prospects that will may on offer. Seemingly they’re all men and they all look very, very similar. There’s budding cupid Harry himself, whose top three interests are: 1) Kanye; 2) Waves; 3) Making stuff. He modestly neglects to mention that he’s a promising tech startup entrepreneur. Or perhaps you’d rather date Tom Kershaw, 21, from Oxford? Interests include beer, physics and rugby. Unusually, Skepta, “38, from Woking” appears to be on this mock-up too. It remains to be seen why “Skepta” is portrayed with the face of a prepubescent 16-year-old white boy.

At this point you’re probably wondering: why? Why do we need an app exclusively designed for yung Yeezys? Harry explains that it’s “to celebrate Kanye West fans. Those who believe in themselves! We all going to be dead in hundred years. Give the kids the music!” Alternatively, it’s just someone having a lol?

Regardless, it got the cogs spinning. Inspired by the app, and the sheer agony that is every dating app ever, a few other options we’d like to see crowdfunded came to mind.

A list of dating apps we’d rather see than a app

  1. One with no pictures of people wearing fedoras
  2. One for only Timothée Chalamet fans
  3. One for only Timothée Chalamet
  4. And me
  5. One that doesn't delete transgender people's accounts
  6. One that deletes alt-right people’s accounts
  7. One that doesn’t force women to send the first message and then claim that this makes the app inherently feminist, when really it just puts the impetus on women to work against years of systemic sexism and social conditioning, and besides once you do send a message they can still just send back an unsolicited dick pic with the caption, “U M@ke me HOrNY”
  8. One where you converse only in memes
  9. One that doesn’t have 50-year-old guys who are looking to date women 23-28
  10. One that has people on it you actually want to date
Dating Apps
kanye west