more types of people to avoid in 2015
It's like a jungle out there, sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.
They say it takes 'all types' to create the modern moment that we refer to as 'right now'. With everyone navigating the new frontier and the barrage of information and rules that inevitably come with it, it's not always going to be pretty. Your path to a happy life is to avoid the fallout. To help you along, we've picked up where the UK left off and identified some more of the people you're going to want to stay clear of at all costs.
1. People claiming they were 'Normcore' before the crowd. You realize you're asking for recognition for being the first to be void of any type of personality or originality? Also, some people are above 'belonging'. Deal with it.
2. Beautiful lady DJs. Where are all the plain lady DJs at? How about just identifying as a "DJ" and ending sexism and image-based music marketing in one go.
3. Anyone who just got back from an overseas trip. We get it, every Australian travels, nothing's changed. Except you're a more enlightened person and you've expanded your own beautiful universe.
4. "Troubled" guys in their 20s. We understand, nothing's real, you've grown your hair and you've read a little Kerouac. Girls discovered negativity when they were 15. Stop brooding and acting like the world isn't your oyster.
5. Australians who move to New York and start ending their sentences with, "right?".
6. Anyone who tried to support equal marriage by posting the picture of Abbott and Hockey kissing. Isn't that making gayness the joke again? Like, "lol, they're gay"? Didn't get it.
7. People who are "dedicated to perfect minimal design" and demonstrate that on their Tumblr page.
8. People with free time. What is wrong with you?
9. Instagram Models. Nothing says "home trouble as a child" like an Instagram model…Or wearing a choker.
10. Fake quirky girls. You know who I'm talking about. It's not fair to the legit weird girls out there trying their hardest to be normal. Also, anyone who uses the word "quirky".
12. People who mention how little they've eaten that day. Or how much they've eaten. People who talk about food in any terms but their plans to eat it with the person they're speaking to. Also, remember when you used to get your film delivered and email everyone those photos you took of your dinner? No? Put Instagram away.
13. EDM Producers. Get lost and no, I will not be in your music video.
14. Anybody who's operating more than one irony level above or below you. It's not going to work.
15. Anyone who can sleep without their phone plugged into a charger.
16. Bouncers. I've had nine beers and I'm going to tell you I've had two. You know this. Why are we speaking to each other? Also, I pay my taxes. Let me into the bar.
17. People with nail art. The ritual of grown women and sometimes men spending hours cutting and pasting cartoon characters onto their finger nails, each emoji handpicked as a representation of their current mood, character and 'quirk'.
18. Freelancers or any sort of creative complaining like someone's forcing them to follow their dreams.
19. People that talk about their childhood or what they dreamt last night. You've got about 15 seconds to make me either laugh or cry before I switch off.
20. People who constantly post other people's inspirational quotes on Facebook / Instagram. Feels like a passive aggressive stab and let's face it, it's not your successful friends posting them is it?
Text Britt McCamey and Tom Molloy