have you pressed the black mirror button that tells you when your relationship will end?
Because you can. And they say romance is dead!
Image courtesy Netflix
You’ve stashed the cava in the fridge and bought some plasticy chocolates with glitter on them. You’ve got your 2 for 1 Pizza Express voucher from Groupon. We get it -- romance isn’t dead. Romance is as alive as the little pot plant you’re giving instead of roses because they’re like, so basic (and £20 a pop). Romance! Isn’t! Dead! But how long will it last with you and Ryan? Is it dumpsville for you and Hanna?
You can now press a button to find out. Specifically, the button in Hang the DJ -- the episode in the last season of Black Mirror that offered a fairly dystopian view of the future of dating. As if Tinder wasn’t bad enough! In the episode, single and possibly desperate volunteers sign up to a programme/device called the ‘System’. The System measures the compatibility between you and your date, and decides how long the relationship will last. You don’t get any say in the matter -- whether you love them or hate them, the length of time you will spend gazing into their eyes is predetermined.
So in the spirit of instilling a really healthy towards V Day the kind folks at Black Mirror (or ‘Coach Dating’ as they’ve temporarily renamed themselves) have made a button for you. Click here, get a code, give it to your partner or your colleague if you don’t have a partner, and click again. Click to commit to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Click this V Day to find out your D Day.
Let’s just hope it lasts longer than that pot plant that’ll be dead in three weeks.
This article originally appeared on i-D UK.