everything you missed at the baftas last night

The protests, the outfits, Timothée Chalamet winning everyone over for the 83rd time this year -- here’s everything you need to know to hold your own at the water cooler today.

by Georgie Wright
19 February 2018, 3:46pm

Last night was the BAFTAs -- the second biggest night of the year for British film, after the Black Panther premiere. Awards-wise, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, took the cake with five trophies -- including Best Film, Best British film, and Frances McDormand winning Best Actress. And while Best Actor predictably went to an esteemed old white guy playing esteemed old white guy (Gary Oldman as Churchill in Darkest Hour), we were blessed with star of Get Out and Black Panther Daniel Kaluuya winning the EE Rising Star Award.

But everyone knows that awards ceremonies aren’t about the winners. Ok, they are a bit, but they’re also about everything else. Or actually, just Timothée Chalamet.

Like the kind content creators that we are, we compiled a big list of all the best moments in case you accidently nodded off during Sir Ridley Scott’s 8 minute long speech. Here you go:

Daniel Kaluuya’s speech
“I am a product of arts funding within the United Kingdom,” the actor said in his speech for his much-deserved EE Rising Star Award. Thanks for reminding everyone but mainly the Tories that hello, we need arts funding because hello, we need more actors like Daniel.

Dedicating the speech to his mum, he said, “You’re the reason why I started, you’re the reason why I’m here, and you’re the reason why I keep going.” No that’s not a tear in my eye, I just have really bad hayfever ok.

The mum of I Am Not a Witch director Rungano Nyoni also had really bad hayfever
The film, about a 9 year old Zambian girl accused of being a witch, won the award for Outstanding Debut. When Rungano was making her speech, the broadcast cut to her mum absolutely bawling her eyes. Well you would, wouldn’t you.

But Frances McDormand showed us how it was done.
Eschewing the memo to wear black, the actress made a bold choice and wore a red-flecked Valentino dress. The move cleverly allowed her to talk about the #TimesUp movement, as well as other Three Billboards inspired “well organised act of civil disobedience” that had taken place, including one outside Grenfell Tower questioning why no arrests have been made after 71 deaths, and one in Florida after the school massacre which demanded why senator Marco Rubio is doing nothing about much-needed gun control. To conclude as she did: “Power to the people.”

Sisters Uncut crashed the red carpet to call Time’s Up on Theresa
Last year, Theresa May put a domestic violence and abuse bill on the table to supposedly help protect women. While this may sound like a step in the right direction, it’s actually a distraction technique. Writing this morning on the Guardian about their decision to lie on last night’s red carpet and chant, “The DV bill’s a cover-up, Theresa May your time is up,” they explained, “This piece of legislation is a dangerous distraction. Instead of refinancing refuges, reinstating legal aid and providing desperately needed housing for domestic violence survivors, Theresa May continues to turn her back on both survivors and the solutions they need.”

It’s fair to say that whether it’s the arts, healthcare or social services, the Tories’ continued campaign of austerity cuts is making it ever harder for people to be… well, anything really.

And now for a heartwarming interlude, watch Timothée Chalamet help Best Adapted Screenplay winner James Ivory to the stage
He can do no wrong. He can actually do no wrong.

But that wasn’t before Helena Bonham-Carter had a chance to smooch James’ shoulder!
We’ve all been there.

Seriously though, someone needs to make an award show kissing etiquette guide
Actually maybe don’t, we all need a bit of light relief.

Jennifer Lawrence maybe threw shade at Joanna Lumley for introducing her as “The HOTTEST actress on the PLANET.”
“That was a bit much, but thank you,” J Law responded. Naturally, some people are quite pissed off that J Law sassed the revered icon of British culture that is J Lum. But considering that Jennifer Lawrence is a commercially and critically successful actress who’s won an Oscar, a BAFTA, three Golden Globes, four Critics' Choice Awards and two SAG awards -- well, it’s not surprising she finds being referred to as just a “hot” actress a tad reductive.

Would you rather: be shaded by Jennifer Lawrence or have Rebecca Ferguson turn up on stage in the same Betty Jackson dress as you

Ridley Scott gave us his full on autobiography from aged fifteen to age eighty-something
“This is the first time they’ve ever given me something, so I’m not going to go quietly,” said Ridley Scott on collecting his BAFTA Fellowship. That he did not. Here, feast your eyes on a full eight minutes and sixteen seconds of his life story. Clearly he didn’t get the same countdown that Daniel Kaluuya did.

It’s an awards ceremony so here’s a circus show
Why not I guess.

Sisters Uncut
Daniel Kaluuya
Frances McDormand
Timothée Chalamet
Three Billboards outside of Ebbing