In the first of today's Very Important Breaking
Water Carter News: Beyoncé gave birth to two baby human beings. We think. We're not actually entirely sure, because we're not actually entirely sure whether Beyoncé herself is a human being or an actual goddess from another planet, but let's not get caught up on details.
Actually, let's. Because we know you want details, that is literally all you want, you want to know the exact Pantone shade that most closely reflects that the twins' eye colour and what inspirational bars Jay Z was spitting to soothe Bey through labour, and probably how long Beyoncé's umbilical cord is too.
Alas, we don't know all those things, but we do know this:
- The twins have been born.
- This was announced by Matthew Knowles' tweet, in what's probably the most high profile example of the old 'DAD, WHY DID U TELL EVERYONE THAT, IT WAS MEANT TO BE A SECRET' shame.
- Obama maybe accidentally spilled the news that they are both girls?
- But people are also speculating one is a boy and one is a girl based on this sly pap shot?
Sorry, that's all the details we have on that. Told you we shouldn't get into them, didn't I?
Fortunately we have a few more insights into Jay Z's new album, which include the following:
- It will be called 4:44.
- It won't actually be released at 4:44, but at 12am EST on 30 June.
- It will be released exclusively on Tidal, because Jay Z's not a businessman, he's a business, man.
- There's a film called 4:44 being released on 30 June too, starring Mahershala Ali, Lupita Nyong'o and Donald Glover.
- You can watch a trailer for it below, which features 24 seconds of #arty black and white boxing close-ups before transitioning into a creative, boundary pushing still that boldly exclaims "Switch to Sprint and get 6 months of Tidal hifi on us".
- Oh no wait, I think that's an ad.
All in all, not a bad day for the Carters. You should probably play this incredible Bey Z album in celebration, shouldn't you.
Text Georgie Wright