Lorde is smart. Lorde has great taste. Lorde may or may not have drawn on these traits to curate a *secret* Instagram account dedicated to the holy grail of battered goods that is:
An Onion Ring.
Yes, An Onion Ring. A round of Onion, dipped in crumb, plunged into searing hot oil, and maybe or maybe not reviewed by Lorde on the now shutdown (RIP) Instagram account @onionringsoftheworld (henceforth referred to as OROTW). So -- is it Lorde? Is it Lorde traversing the planet from New York to Hatfield to Sydney sampling battered members of the allium family and ranking them out of 5? We investigate.
- Lorde followed the account.
- So did her keyboardist Jimmy Mac.
- Her make-up artist Amber D liked all the grams.
- According to Newshub NZ, who broke the story alongside Popjustice, Lorde was in all the places that OROTW was at pretty much the same time, leading us to believe that OROTW is indeed Lorde.
- OROTW has a wide vocabulary, including the words "ceremoniously" and "mulched." Lorde is also very good with words, because she writes clever pop songs and proofread her mum's MA aged 14.
- According to the super-fan who first picked up on the account, "Lorde's fingernails look kind of the same." I have also looked into this, and can confirm that Lorde's fingernails do kind of look the same.
- Tbh nm.
Sources close to Lorde could neither confirm nor deny whether this account is actually Lorde's. Sauces close to OROTW are "slightly spicy (totally non traditional)." I have reached out for comment. I have received none.
To conclude, it seems highly likely that OROTW and Lorde are one in the same. I guess we'll never know for sure. Just like we'll never know the definitive ratings of all the other 129873583745 Onion Rings Of The World.
Text Georgie Wright
Image via Instagram