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grimes' workout regime is truly out of this world

The star of the new adidas by Stella McCartney campaign shares her sword fighting and sensory deprivation routine.

by Jack Sunnucks
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16 July 2019, 11:16pm

Image courtesy of adidas.

Even in the era of ‘Hot Girl Summer,’ most of us have really quite lackadaisical health regimes. Going to the gym a few times a week, swallowing the odd Vitamin C/Iron capsule, wearing sunscreen. Even the most advanced among us are just mixing Ashwagandha in their green juice in between SoulCycle and infrared sauna sessions. Obviously, the training regimes of mere mortals are not for Grimes. The elusive surrealist chanteuse has shared her “training regiment” to debut the new adidas by Stella McCartney campaign, which she stars in. As one might imagine, it’s a lot, and vaguely impossible to decipher whether she’s joking or deadly serious (“What makes Grimes laugh?” one wonders alone in bed at night). Given that the whole regime appears to take around six hours before she gets to the studio, one imagines she is cackling very quietly in her faerie lair. “I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc.,” the artist says in the post. “This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral.” “But what is ATP,” we hear you ask. As we are i-D and not a health magazine, we can’t give you specifics, but Wikipedia tells us that it’s the “molecular unit of currency,” which sounds fab. What else? The regime includes sword fighting, screaming, and drinking honey tea. She’s also had the top film of her eyeball replaced. You may laugh, but we’re pretty sure this time next year you’ll be screaming with a sword too (not sure about the eyeball stuff). To top if off, she says “I go to bed with a humidifier on,” before hastagging #gentrifymordor. If nothing else, we’re off to buy a humidifier and a map of Middle Earth.

This article originally appeared on i-D US.