Foto: Daan Dam

Exklusiv: Ein Einblick in die neue Ausgabe von 'borshch'

Dein liebstes Underground-Magazin für elektronische Musik feiert den Release ihrer vierten Ausgabe. Wir zeigen dir einen Auszug aus der Cover Story mit object blue.

von Juule Kay
12 März 2019, 1:18pm

Foto: Daan Dam

"Die neue The Sound Mind Issue taucht tief in die dunkelsten Ecken der Psyche ein und provoziert ein ehrliches Gespräch darüber", heißt es von den beiden borshch-Gründern Mariana Berezovska und Tiago Biscaia. Dafür haben sie mit Künstler*innen gesprochen, die die transformative Kraft der Musik nutzen, um genau das zu erreichen. Mit dabei sind unter anderem Danse Noire-Gründerin Aïsha Devi, die in Berlin lebende Produzentin JASSS und natürlich i-D Fave object blue. "Wir suchen nach Offenheit und Ehrlichkeit, um uns selbst daran zu erinnern, was für eine vereinende Kraft in Underground Communitys verborgen liegt und wie Empathie durch gemeinsames Musik machen, Musik hören und zur Musik tanzen, wiederentdeckt werden kann", so die beiden weiter.

Wir freuen uns, dir exklusiv einen kurzen Auszug aus der Cover Story von Claire Mouchemore präsentieren zu dürfen, in dem object blue offen über ihre Depression und das Impostor-Syndrom spricht:

object blue borshch
Foto: Daan Dam

I know a lot of people deal with imposter syndrome on a daily basis and the feeling of not deserving opportunities, myself included. How have you dealt with that and moved past it?
It was Laurel Halo who said 'don’t worry about imposter syndrome, it never goes away.' That was kind of a revelation for me and I thought, it’s time to make peace with my imposter syndrome and stop fighting it. Another way I dealt with it was to realize that the world exists beyond me and my ego, it’s not really about you and how you feel about yourself — think about what you can do for others. We all live with imposter syndrome, we always have, and everything that people want to say to us in a derogatory manner — we’ve already thought about it. So, go ahead and say it. We’ve had that conflict with ourselves and we’re still here and we’re still smashing dancefloors, everywhere. Follow in our footsteps. I remember my heart rate would increase when I would open Ableton because I was so afraid that I wouldn’t make anything 'good' that day. Now I don’t have that anymore, I open Ableton without a flinch. That comes with just doing it, repetitive motion and routine.(...) Music is a higher power than all of us and I’m just a servant of the mother beat; I don’t get to have any say and that’s quite freeing.

It’s coming to terms with the fact that you can’t control everything and you shouldn’t try to and that’s definitely ego related, wanting to be in control. There’s this idea that exists and I want to destroy it, but I can’t so I should move on and stop wasting my time dwelling on it.
Exactly. Whether people think you’re an imposter or not, let’s just do it. We have to move past all those restrictions that we put on ourselves and that others put on us. (...)

object blue borshch
Foto: Daan Dam

You’re quite open about your mental health on social media. How do you deal with your mental health getting in the way of your music? Obviously if you’re having a bad day that can impact how you play a show later or when you’re trying to produce...
I really have no shame about living with chronic depression. I feel more shame in having mental health problems and not treating them because that’s when it really harms the people around you. I became depressed when I was 13 and I only managed to start therapy when I was 19. Therapy was instrumental to my recovery. As you grow a bit older you start to realize in music when we are putting our name on something that we’ve made — instead of doing a name- less job — that it’s really easy to spiral and I think that’s why so many musicians have breakdowns and deal with a lot of mental health issues. We have a big ego which has been nurtured since we were young for being artists. I mean I didn’t have that, I was incredibly bad at the piano and had that ego broken down very early and very severely. My parents thought I was a piano prodigy but I actually really sucked, and that kick-started my depression. (...)

I noticed that if I wasn’t satisfied with something that I produced I tend to oversleep the next day, so I looked at the behavior and then made defense plans to combat that. When I used to have writer’s block I would shut down, and now instead of thinking how can I start to write again I think about what I need. A walk, something to eat, a shower, or to sit down and watch a film. I do stuff that is healthy for me. I live regularly and wait for it to come back on its own and it always comes back. I talk a lot about music being a higher realm, but we, the instrument of that musical creation are just people — we are not among that higher existence, we’re still ineffective babies. You have to feed that baby and pay attention to it. There’s no magic solution or something you can tap into.(...)


borshch cover object blue
Foto: Daan Dam. Cover Story: Claire Mouchemore

Die Launch-Party von 'borshch' findet am Samstag, den 16. März in Berlin statt. Mehr Informationen findest du hier.

experimentelle musik
The Sound Mind Issue
Daan Dam