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is it really so strange? the most wonderfully weird morrissey moments

I should preface this by saying that my love for Morrissey is the bizarre, unrefined, purple-gel-pen-scrawling-love-notes-in-a-science-notebook breed of affection normally reserved for a year seven boyfriend. I could not count the amount of times I’ve brought bars full of people to take their cigarette breaks en masse during my painful karaoke renditions of Smiths classics, giving them an entirely refreshed perspective on “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now.” Just know, my love is deep. That said, it’s no secret that the man practically lives in left field. Never afraid to toss a curveball, his recently released spoken word video clip of “Earth is the Loneliest Planet,” the third single released off his forthcoming album World Peace is None of Your Business - is absolutely no exception. Watching the sun set over Los Angeles atop Capitol Records’ headquarters and proclaiming the same solitude that’s sustained ten studio albums, Moz has a rather unexpected companion: Pamela Anderson. In honor of this unlikely partnership, we’ve compiled The Mozfather’s top five most wonderfully weird moments.

Text Emily Manning
Photography Alasdair McLellan

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  • pairing up with pam in earth is the loneliest planet

    Before you replay Some Girls are Bigger than Others in search of hidden allusions to the Baywatch babe, Pam actually does have some loves, hates, and passions just like his. A huge animal rights activist, she also believes Meat is Murder. Still, for a guy who once told Fox News “If you’re not seen with a big, busty blonde on your arm [the American media] just don’t know how to deal with you,” Pam’s presence is a little shocking.

  • dancing with puppets on data run

    Before the prospect of eating an entire box of Coco Pops while watching SMTV Live was the only thing that could get you out of bed on a Saturday morning, Data Run was the ruling weekend wakeup. Instead of Ant and Dec, this super strange episode featured another legendary partnership, Morrissey and Marr, who take a trip back to their primary school to be interviewed by a curious crew of children (and accompanying puppets). While there’s perhaps nothing more adorable than watching a group of schoolkids sing the chorus of This Charming Man, the whole thing is definitely a little ominous. Coming from the co-writer of Suffer Little Children, an elegy to Manchester’s Moors Murders, I can’t really say I’m surprised. When one boy asks why he holds flowers while singing, Mozzer replies, “I think flowers are very beautiful things, very nice and innocent things. They don’t harm anybody, they don’t burp, and they don’t do anything ugly. So why not? It’s better, I think, than waving socks about.”

     

  • cruisin’ with children on “charlie’s bus”

    If you were trying to revolutionize popular music thirty years ago, children’s television programmes were apparently the best places to do so. In addition to Data Run, The Smiths also took to Charlie’s Bus, the musical segment of the short-lived Saturday morning show SPLAT, for another hard-hitting interview from a sprightly group of seven-year-olds. When one asks where they’re going, a Dalmatian print clad Morrissey fittingly responds “We’re all going mad.” And just when you think the Kew Gardens excursion couldn’t get any stranger, out pops Sandie Shaw.

     

  • acing pop quiz

    Having penned Stop Me if You Think You’ve Heard This One Before, Moz put himself up to his own challenge, appearing alongside Kim Wilde and Simple Minds’ Derek Forbes as a contestant on the music quiz show Pop Quiz. Where his teammates struggle to pin down the lyrics to Captain Sensible’s Glad it’s All Over, he smugly nabs points for correctly identifying Nancy Sinatra’s These Boots are Made for Walking, much to the delight of show host/ home to one of 84’s most beautiful mullets, Mike Read.

  • the hills are alive with the scouse of margox

    “They said, ‘Well, who would you like to speak to?’ and I couldn’t think of anybody. They said, ‘Well, who do you like?’ and I said ‘Well, no one.’ They said, ‘Well, who likes you?’ and I said, ‘Well, no one.’’” Despite the most emo introduction to an interview, well, ever, Morrissey eventually finds a kindred spirit in Margi Clarke, otherwise known as Margox. Waxing poetic about all the disappointments life has brought him, Moz runs into the arms of the former Coronation Street resident atop the Scottish mountainsides in one of the strangest sequences.