If last year was the year of the black water snake and all black everything, then now is the time for shiny, happy, rainbow colour. According to the astrology calendar, 2014 is the year of the wood horse, so show the world how powerful you are with the strong looks you’ve always wanted to pull. We sent our super secret horse whisperer down to the stables to ask the sexy centaurs what to expect...
1. Stay away from rats and snakes - they’re trouble. If anyone’s annoying you, kick out and don’t be afraid to get bitey.
2. Hang with tigers and dragons because they’re the most badass of all the zodiacs. With dragons in limited supply nowadays, you might have to stick with Kenzo’s stripy felines – we’ve heard they’re up for a roaring good time.
3. Out with the scales and in with the hair! AW14 menswear catwalks were populated with prancing ponies with made-up manes. Katie Eary’s colts channeled Chinese New Year with firestarter red hair, while Chanel went plastic fantastic with real life ken doll dos.
4. The wood horse year is a time of fast victories, so embrace the trainer and take your pick of this season's running shoes. Run wild and free!
5. For those riding solo, we’ve herd that the next twelve months hold a surprising romance. Find your mane man or woman and get your sexy on.
6. Unexpected adventure this way comes. Give up your stable life, embrace pastures new, and jump on board the train heading for fun town. You bucking deserve it!
7. However, being impulsive isn’t for everyone. If you’re a rat, be cautious and if you find yourself in a sticky situation, simply holler and we’ll come bale you out.
8. Everything moves quickly in the year of the horse, so try your best to avoid galloping off in the wrong direction sartorially.
9. Look out for the pure celestial cloud horse that flies through the skies, spreading peace and love to those who believe. Embrace his energy and one day a week, wear white.
10. Horses are heroes in China. Important battles were won thanks to the strength and power of the horse. Suffer no foals – stand up for yourself.
11. Kiss all of the boys and the prettiest girls, because the year of the whores only comes around once every 12 years and you must make the most of it.
12. Make like Versace’s AW14 cowboys and rein in your horses as the spirit of the West fills your leather, bum-showing slacks.
13. Be bold and take make-up inspiration from Chen Man’s portrait >>>> try new things and have fun with your face.
14. When constrained by rules, a proud horse will rebel. Break every rule you’ve ever followed. Embrace colour like your life depends on it.
15. Return to nature this year. Fill your flat with flowers a la Dior SS14 and breathe deeply, decorate your life and smile more.
16. The time for secrecy was with 2013’s sly snake. xoxo gossip girl
17. Under horses strong influence there is no room for middle ground – so make sure you always dress to the nines.
18. You’ll do well at work but wont always want to focus on it. There’ll be a lot of fun, free, sexy distractions. It’s going to be a good year.
19. Jennifer Lawrence is a horse. Horses rule. Be more like Jennifer Lawrence.
20. The year of the horse is the time to quit your job, see the world, fall in love, find yourself. And if you still haven't found what you're looking for, there's always next year kids... the year of the goat.