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What would Shoshanna do?

if Kanye hit on her… if Harry Styles hit on her… if she was the last person left on earth…

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Yesterday I explained to Zosia Mamet what Tinder was. Which only serves to prove that Zosia, pronounced Sasha babes, is not actually the social-network-sextwork-superbody we see on-screen, Shoshanna. Even though Sasha and Shoshanna actually sound more like the same person than Zosia and Shoshanna. So after overcoming the tragedy and the farce that is Zosia not being Shoshanna, we decided to conduct our Season 3 GIRLS interview with Zosia blithely ignoring that fact in a What Would Shoshanna Do sex and survival guide. Because we already know what Shoshanna would do on crack and it's brilliant, what she would do during her deflowerment, and what she would say to break up with a loser, "Sometimes I love you the way that like, I feel sorry for a monkey, like they need so much help and they're in such an ugly cage". Ah, she's great.

What song would Shoshanna enjoy having sex to?
oooo! I think she might want to think she's being really classic by listening to something like Let's Get It On.

What would Shoshanna do if she received a sext?
She would probably write about 50 responses, maybe google what a good response is to a sext, and then eventually settle on taking a smouldering selfie and sending it back.

What would Shoshanna's tinder description say?
I don't actually know what that is…

It's a dating app thing where people find other people to have sex with, and sometimes it becomes love.
Oh! Ok, she'd write something much more clever than I would!

What would Shoshanna do if she had one day left on earth?
She would probably go buy everything she's ever wanted, eat everything she's never let herself eat. Probably spaz out a little bit, maybe watch every movie she's ever thought that she should watch and never has. She'd really try and pack in it.

If Shoshanna could sleep with one celebrity, who would it be?
Maybe George Clooney. She's very concerned with the things she thinks she should do.

What would Shoshanna do if Kanye hit on her?
She'd turn him down.

What! Why?
Play hard to get. And then he'd go away and she'd be sad.

What would Shoshanna do if Harry Styles hit on her?
Ask him to marry her.

What would Shoshanna do if she was God for the day?
Make everything pink.

What would Shoshanna do if she had to live in a nightclub for a week?

What would Shoshanna's perfect Valentine's Day date be?
Probably a fancy restaurant. There would definitely be a pink and red outfit, maybe some kind of a heart in her hair. She would love flowers and a teddy bear and chocolates. And then maybe a horse and carriage ride around Central Park.

What would Shoshanna do if Jessa got drunk and kissed her boyfriend?
I think she'd go into the bathroom and cry about it.

What would Shoshanna do if she ended up in an S+M club by accident?
Order a water and then ask where the bathroom was.

What would Shoshanna do if she was asked on a date by a guy she didn't fancy but just really liked his personality?
She's probably say yes and then go on the date and then fake a family emergency and then leave.

Yeah she would! Thanks.
Thank you. That was hard.

Top 3 Shoshanna Moments

1. Shoshanna on crack

2. Shoshanna's medium baggage

3. Shoshanna sings kareoke and no one cares


Girls Season 3 starts 10pm Monday 20th January on Sky Atlantic HD.